How Releasing Control Protects Your Peace

What if peace has less to do with getting your way and more to do with letting go? We dig into the quiet power of surrender—not as defeat, but as self-respect—and explore why trying to control partners, friends, coworkers, and even strangers so often backfires. Instead of chasing compliance, we look at what happens when you anchor to acceptance, set clear boundaries, and stop taking other people’s choices as a verdict on your worth.

I share a personal story about refusing a sudden, high-stakes financial ask and the friendship that didn’t survive the no. It’s a raw reminder that saying no may cost approval, but saying yes to what you can’t carry costs yourself. We unpack practical ways to release control in everyday moments: letting someone load the dishwasher differently without turning it into a referendum, asking for help without demanding it, and respecting a no without pushing. Along the way, we talk about how past experiences shape behaviour, why judgment fades when curiosity grows, and how focusing on outcomes over micromanaging methods eases tension at home and at work.

This conversation is for anyone tired of resentment, guilt, and emotional whiplash. You’ll learn how to notice the impulse to control, pause before reacting, and choose actions aligned with your values. If a boss denies time off or a driver cuts you off, you can still protect your mood and your energy. That’s the heart of surrender: you stop gripping what was never yours to hold and invest in what you can shape—your tone, your boundaries, your next step.

If this resonates, tap follow, share it with someone who needs a lighter load today, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find the show. Your perspective matters—what are you ready to release?

Chapters

• 0:15 Welcome And Listener Thanks
• 0:45 Subscribe And Leave A Comment
• 1:05 Defining Letting Go
• 2:10 Letting Go Of Control
• 4:04 A Story About Saying No
• 5:29 Respecting Differences And Boundaries

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:10

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome, welcome to Positive Day Podcast. I'm your host, Daniel Malcolm. Thank you, thank you for listening to me. Thank you to my new regulars. My new regular listeners, thank you for the my new listeners, thank you for all your support. Thank you for all those been listening to me on a regular basis and who meet me and and tell me how much my episode has changed, touch, and move their lives. If you haven't subscribed yet, please subscribe so you never miss an episode again. If it's your first time you're listening to me, first time hearing me out, please subscribe. Wherever you're listening to me, please leave a comment. I really appreciate appreciate that. Again, this is Daniel Malcolm, Dan Malcolm from Positive Day Podcast. And I want to start today, today's podcast. I just want to start today about letting go. I made a few notes, so often on you'll see me looking down or just but I just wanna I just wanna say today letting go. It's like letting go. That can mean different things to different people, different people will have different things to let go of. And um, and to me, letting go is like surrendering, giving up acceptance of what it is, and and this is letting go is part of loving you because you you you're letting go of things you can control, things you cannot change, things you cannot make a difference of. So that's why letting go to me is surrendering, giving up, acceptance, believing, whatever you you wanna call it. But I'm just gonna focus on some some of my experience, some of my some ways how I let go of things, and and one thing I I wanna start with is letting go of control. Lots of lot of us has cannot accept that we cannot control anyone, anything, our relationship, our partners, friends, co-workers, colleagues, children, especially women want to control their partners, partners, men want to control the women. Like you cannot control anyone. Everyone has their own mind, their own heart, their own thinking, they are a bit different from yours. So you cannot control people. And and when people don't do the things that you want them to do, it changes your mood. You get angry, you get upset, you get disappointed. And for me, I have learned through my my life experience, through my my journey of of finding me, is give up that part of my life, letting go. Because it prevents you from getting angry with people, it prevents you from getting upset, it prevents you from judging, from criticizing. Because people do things based on what they know, people do things based on how they feel about themselves, people do things on the past trauma, the past things. So letting go is a sign of today, is about letting go of all these things, and one is it is controlling. You cannot control people, let that go. I have I had I had an incident where someone called me up and they were like, Oh, I want to do this, and I want to do that. I want you to help me. And I didn't respond, I didn't say anything, I just listened, and at the end I said, I'm sorry, I'm not prepared, right now, I'm not prepared to tackle that, so I'm sorry, I cannot. And personally, I let them down, they were rude, I was rude, they were depending on me, they trusted me, and I was like, You're asking me to do something that I cannot do right now, and that's because I tell you that I'm rude, because I say no, because I'm thinking of me, and it was something that nobody would nobody would actually jump into. I I lost a friend through that, and I was like, Well, you're not my friend, because you don't you don't understand, you don't put some a request like that on somebody without notifying them, and it was a big financial thing. And I was like, wow, because I didn't do it, everything in the book, I was like, so I guess you were never a friend to understand that. And again, that is control, controlling people, and then when they don't do the things the way you want them to do it, like the way you do your dishes. You do dishes the way you you like it, you do it, what's best for you. And if someone else don't do it, you can't get upset, angry, and mad about that. Because nobody can do things like you, nobody can do things the way you do it, nobody can do it the way that has a touch like you, because we all are special, unique, and one of a kind. I've said that in in some of my episodes, you are special, you're made with a mole, and that mole is broken, and there's no more like it. So you cannot expect people to do things the way you want them to do it. If you ask, they said no, respect that, understand that. Because you don't know the circumstance, you don't know what's going on with with with with them. So that's one part of letting go is control. Not controlling people, not controlling things around you, not controlling the driver beside you, not controlling your boss. You go, you ask your boss for you for a day off, and he says,